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  • Writer's pictureStalf

The Love List - March 15, 2022

1. Wearing

Spring colours, Ice Cream, Seafoam, Spearmint and any extra pastel shades I can throw in,

2. Soundtrack

I've changed this section this time. "Following" was a hard one every month. Here's the song/album I've been leaning into this last few weeks...

The Infamous Bill, Khruangbin

4 little songs, heaps of chill. Best listened to on a weekend morning with the sun on your face. Like medicine.

3. Motivator

Blue skies out of the big window on the top floor. Last month this window gave us 5pm peach sunsets, this month is about all-day blue!!

4. Comfort

Life feels heavy in many ways right now. Worry and uncertainty creeps up on most of us for so many reasons. I'm trying very hard to focus in on the small moments. Documenting them has been giving me a lot of pleasure...

A flower found.

The sky through my son's window.

Pretty new books and sparkly gold nails.

Blue skies on a day trip with my family.

Local flowers for sale at The Pink Studio.

My little boyband.

Drinks with my sisters.

Moments watching them just be themselves.

My little dumpling baby getting his first passport photo.

5. View

We got some very exciting news this past week- we were granted planning permission to build our new family home.

For a few weeks whilst we waited to hear, I've stopped myself from dreaming about what we'll create. But this last few days, I've been diving back into Pinterest, revisiting the ideas we had when we were designing the house, and allowing myself to feel some excitement building.

More on this as we progress, but for now, a screenshot of the sections of my secret board for this project. The level of organisation you can achieve on Pinterest (profile split into boards split into sections etc.) makes me so happy.

6. Indulgence

Cake, brownie, cake, marshmallows, cake, brownie, cake. Breakfast, lunch and tea. (It was my birthday.)

7. Wisdom

An idea. Self care can also be what you do for others.

I was reading through last Love List's "Wisdom" - the one about Rest, 7 ways and decided to delve a little more into the idea of "Spiritual Rest."

Last time I wrote-

"Spiritual - Connecting to something bigger than me. Meditation, the moon, the annual changing of the seasons, month by month. "

This is absolutely something I need a connection to in my day-to-day in order to maintain perspective. To keep me moving forward, however slowly, to help prevent feelings of hopelessness in difficult situations. But on expanding my readings on "spiritual rest" one thing that struck me is that many people turn my interpretation on its head in their understanding of this element.

When I rationalised this element of "rest" within my own life, I had imagined the "Spiritual" element to be referring to something bigger than myself- the constance of the seasons, the perpetually cyclical moon cycle, or perhaps that "place" that exists in sleep or meditation. Essentially something bigger than me, a cycle that is maintained regardless of my personal circumstance or (change in) situation. Something which enabled me to understand that I am a small part of the whole.

Here is a line from an article I read which turns my idea on its head- “At the core of spiritual rest is that feeling that we all have of needing to be really seen, of feeling that we belong, that we’re accepted, that our life has meaning.” Here the author quotes the writing of Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith. Rather than referencing faith here, she instead cites undertaking "voluntary work or other activities" in order to achieve Spiritual Rest. I suppose, contrary to what I had previously interpreted, this places the self at the core of the system- the feeling of being a small part of the whole becomes the feeling of being an integral part. One becomes vital.

So what could these "other activities" be? I'm reflecting on what makes me feel vital- providing reassurance to a friend. Feeling needed by someone other than my small children. Putting together a treat or surprise for a family member, and in turn knowing I've picked them up. Knowing that it was my actions that eased their circumstance. I played a part. Does an act of kindness have to be totally selfless? Can it (at the same time as providing comfort to others) be simultaneously filling our cup? Is that a welcome side effect of caring for others, that we feel needed and vital and integral?

There's no doubt that wh